Inside Anissa’s Brutality Part 2: The Wild Force Rises

Every scream in the temple sent shivers down Anissa's spine.

Goosebumps spiked on her arm and sweat beaded down her forehead.

It was night 4 and the first drink of Ayahuasca was done.

Pure hell was beginning to unleash.

The Columbian Ayahuasca brew ‘Yage’ had taken its hold on the 40 members of tonight's ceremony.

Explosive roars of vomit and the groans of sick men and women were the only thing that interrupted the silence.

Over and over again.

The screams down the hall are terrifying.

Like people are being physically hurt.

Terror builds within Anissa as she grabs her friend Stephanie.

Stephanie: “Don’t worry…everything going to be ok”

Anissa: “I don't want to be here… I’m too scared… I don't know what happening”

Anissa looks to her left to see her friend Britney collapse.

Her body looked lifeless as 2 shamans came to drag her out of the temple.

Anissa’s terrified.

Feeling like she’s about to become part of some evil experiment.

Anissa: What’s going on here. Is Britney ok? Am I going to be sacrificed? Why is everybody ok with what is happening?

Anissa goes up to Leo. The lead Shaman of the night.

Anissa: Leo… am I going to die tonight?

Leo: “I don’t know. But if you do. Just pray that it is beautiful.”

Anissa thinks to herself: What the hell does that mean? You can’t guarantee I’m not going to die?? What kind of wisdom is that??

Leo: You just need a little bit more medicine.

Leo hands Anissa another cup of medicine.

She takes her second drink of Yage and heads back to her bed.

Struggling to hold it down. It is so much worse than the first cup.

30 minutes later, Anissa looks up to see an old woman named Kim in a white dress stand before her.

It’s the most horrifying person Anissa’s ever come across.

Looking at Anissa with glitching eyes and an inhuman smile.

Paranoia peaks.

Kim: “Dont worry sweety. Were just trying to help you.”

Anissa: “Don’t touch me”

Another shaman woman appears,

Woman shaman: “Come here. You don't trust me? I’m your friend”

Anissa moves her back against the wall.

Anissa: Don’t touch me!!!

Kim and her friend step back and walk away.

“Thank god they didn’t touch me because I would have freaked out”

Anissa didn’t trust anyone anymore.

With her mind is firing RED ALERT on all cylinders.

Heart palpitating, palms sweating, stomach fluttering.

She lays back in her bed trying to relax.

Yet the sounds of puke, moans, and screams send Anissa into sickness herself.

She springs up to the front of her bed and grabs her puke bowl.

The taste of stomach acid and dark sludge run out her mouth.

For the next 2 hours, Anissa sits shaking in terror. As puke, screams, and silence fill her with fear.

Anissa goes to the bathroom and notices she’s being followed by the old woman Kim.

In the bathroom, Anissa notices she is spotting.

Women on their period are not allowed to stay in the ceremony.

As the mix with the Ayahuasca brew Yage can be too intense.

Anissa is relieved to see the blood.

Finally, a way to get the hell out of here.

Anissa goes to tell Kim:

Kim: We need to bring you outside the temple. But it is too late to go back to your room. You can sleep outside until the ceremony ends.

Kim grabs Anissa’s mattress and goes to set it up.

In a few minutes, it is ready.

Anissa comes out and it’s lovely.

A soft white mattress, a refreshing pillow, and nicely tucked sheets, all laid out on a beautiful grass field under the warm Costa Rican stars.

No one outside is screaming or puking.

Finally, Anissa can lay down in peace.

She looks at the stars dancing across the sky.

Closes her eyes and falls asleep.

Suddenly, Anissa feels someone touching her foot.

It’s Kim the elder shaman.

Kim: “Is this your bag? Here are the depends.”

Anissa: “No that’s not my bag. I have my bag.”

Kim: “Are you sure?”

Kim holds up the pair of adult diapers to show Anissa.

Anissa looks up to see Kim’s face rapidly age right before her eyes.

Transforming from a haunting 60-year-old woman to an even more terrifying 90-year-old woman.

Wrinkles deepening. Skin sagging. Hair cracking, thinning, turning ghostly grey. Eyes and mouth turning into blackness with a twisted smile creeping across her face.

Demons.

Anissa cant figure out what the hell is going on.

Anissa thinks to herself:

I know I’m hallucinating …

What does this mean?

Does this tell me I’m aging?

Have I become old?

Is that a fear of mine?

Kim interrupts the silence:

Kim: Ok that’s not your bag.

Kim stands up and picks up the bag she brought.

Then grabs Anissa’s bag and takes it away.

Anissa: OMG This is weird. Why did she take my stuff?

Dizziness hits Anissa and she blacks out again.

Then wakes up.

It’s Kim and someone else hovering over her. One of the really pretty blonde shaman with the right side of her hair shaved.

Anissa hears them talking…

Kim: Yeah we don’t know what to do. She doesn’t remember her name. Something is really wrong.

Anissa sits up…

Anissa: Is everything ok?

Kim: It’s ok. We are just trying to help you… Ok? Can you tell us your name? Can you remember your name?

Anissa’s thinking. Yeah of course I can remember my name.

Anissa: What are you saying? Why are you asking that?

Kim and her friend creep closer to Anissa.

With a smile that reveals insidious intentions.

Anissa terrified, pulls back into the mattress.

Kim: Don’t worry sweetheart. It’s going to be ok. We’re going to help you.

Anissa describes what happens next…

I’m starting to feel this horrific terror like I’m going to be set up.

Paranoid that I’m going to be locked up in an Insane Asylum.

Drugged every day like I am a mentally insane patient unable to convince anybody that I am ok.

I turn over into my mattress and prepared to run.

Then am grabbed by Kim and her friend.

I fight to get away but am grabbed by 3 large men.

I start screaming like it’s life or death.

Anissa: Whats wrong!!?? Please let me go!!! LET ME GOOO!!!!!

But it is getting worse.

As more people join in to pin me down, I start struggling even harder.

Pure terror fills my mind as I am swallowed into paranoia.

“Something horrific is about to happen.”

“They are not going to let me go. They going to enslave me in some way”

“They’re going to turn me into some sort of sex slave”

“And lock me in a cage of eternal suffering for the rest of my life.”

I’m horrified.

Voices around me tell me to calm down… to surrender.

Saying if I don’t fight then I’m not going to get hurt.

I think to myself…What can I do about this?

I am small. I am weak. I do not like violence and am horrified of pain.

What chance do I have against this evil?

I think back to the first time I was sexually abused.

In Columbia, I remember being completely powerless the way it happened.

I couldn’t do anything during the fact or after.

I knew I was going to get victim-blamed. So I kept it a secret

And it killed me. It has eaten me up inside for so many years.

I began to think…

I can not give in to this again.

THIS IS NOT HAPPENING LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!!

I start breathing really heavily. Preparing to use all my strength.

Whatever it takes to get away from them.

I’m going to give everything.

Deep breaths quicken to hyperventilation as I build up all my energy.

And everything escalates from zero to 100.

A full-blown struggle erupts

Fighting, kicking, screaming, punching, wailing, shaking, twisting, turning.

Whatever I could do.

Fighting against the hands that hold me down.

I could feel my legs break loose. But am quickly restrained again.

I keep fighting twisting shaking breaking free. I get one knee on the mattress and shoot to get up.

But am smashed back into my mattress.

Arms pinned. Legs pinned. Shoulders pinned.

All five of them are on top of me. I can’t move.

I’m terrified. Darkness creeps up my spine.

I’m not fighting Kim anymore.

I’m not fighting the other shamans anymore.

This is evil. This is pure evil.

I’m fighting pure evil.

An evil that is hellbent on destroying us all.

That is why they want to rape me.

And that is why they want to know all the women’s moon cycles.

So they can rape all of us. Using our bodies to birth to their evil children.

And spread their evil across the world.

Terror skyrockets inside of me as I continue to fight for my life.

Screaming, struggling, shaking, fighting for what feels like hours.

But I cannot escape them and I collapse.

Tears come down my face as all hope is destroyed.

There are too many of them.

I am small. I am weak. I am outnumbered and I am alone.

Furious anger boils up inside me as I surrender.

Anger like nothing I ever felt before.

“Fuck you! Take my fucking body! Do it!!! I WILL BIRTH THEM ALL!!!”

I felt so much anger for being chosen to birth their evil children.

But there was nothing left I could do.

My only option is to surrender.

I stare at the sky as the terror and darkness cover my soul.

Tears streaming down my face as I spiral deeper and deeper into darkness.

Ready to accept the horrific pain about to happen to me.

Suddenly a voice calls my name.

I hear it growing louder.

It’s my nephew Sebastian! My soul mate!!!

His voice rings in my ear:

Sebastian: Don't give up Anissa! Close your eyes! Look within!!! Don’t give into the darkness! There’s light inside of you! Close your eyes!! Find the light!! Step into it!!! Find the strength!! Find the faith to save yourself!!!

In complete awe, I raise my head and cry out in response:

“SEBASTIAN MY ANGEL!!! SEBASTIAN I LOVE YOU!!! SEBASTIAN!!!!”

A light fills inside me.

I can feel his spirit guiding me.

I focus my mind and going deeper towards the light. It gets bigger and bigger.

There is someone else there with me. And then I see him!!

OH MY GOD IT’S HIM!!!!! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!

My ex-fiancé. My tall tan Columbian love. With dark black hair and sparkling green eyes.

The deepest love I’ve ever had in my life.

“BABY!!! SAVE ME BABY!!!”

I run into his arms and wrap my arms around his body. Hugging my head against his chest. Weeping.

He is so real his heart beats against my cheek.

I can feel his love flowing into my heart.

I look into his eyes to reveal my terror.

Anissa; “BABY!!!! HELP ME.”

“It’s ok.” He whispers. “You are safe here. You are safe in this light.”

Anissa: Baby, they are going to rape me. Make love to me. Make love to me now. Give me your seed before they plant theirs. It is the only way!”

We rip off our clothes and begin to make love.

Our bodies move to the flow of sexual rhythm.

I feel my womb fill with energy.

And I feel true love fill my heart.

I look up and into his eyes. My heart overflows with love.

He looks back at me. Smiles. And disappears back into the light.

They can’t have me anymore.

As the child of my true love is within me now.

A voice rings from the light.

“Anissa, you carry a child now. A miracle child destined to destroy this evil. You must not die. You are a mother now. A mother that must bring this child to fruition.”

True love flows and flows from my heart.

Suddenly, I can’t let myself be killed anymore.

I’m carrying this thing that is precious.

I am flooded with this greater reason to live.

I am a mother now.

Even though years ago I vowed I would never have children.

I am a mother with a child that must survive.

Anger rises. More strength appears. More light shines. More everything.

My child has to live!!!! I must survive with my baby!!!!!

A tsunami of energy floods inside me as my adrenaline spikes through the roof.

My eyes rip open and the fury of a mother's wrath explodes onto the shamans.

Blasting my arms against theirs. Thrusting my abs and legs to escape. Twisting and turning. Erupting every muscle in my body to survive.

Screaming with all my might to save my child.

Unbearable pain rips through my body as my muscles are pushed beyond their limits.

I can feel my muscles begin to rip and tear as I attack.

Unleashing a pain so horrific the only way to feel better was to scream my lungs out.

Screaming as if I’m giving birth. Fighting. Sweating. Screaming. Shaking.

Pushing through the pain to save my child.

Yet it’s not enough. And I am overpowered back into the mattress.

Doubt creeps back into my mind. I’m losing. I can not do it.

Sebastian, my true love, and my child enter back into my mind.

I love them so much I don't want to die.

I must be in their life.

This must be what unconditional love feels like.

I never really understood love.

But I do understand this horrific pain I am in.

And I feel I’m willing to push through this pain for true love.

The greatness and dimension of love outshine the pain.

It’s a love that is greater than myself.

An unconditional love that is willing to endure anything.

I begin fighting back even harder. Fighting through the pain while still being pinned down by 5 shamans.

Yet still unable to break free.

I’m beyond desperate.

I close my eyes to go back inside to the light for reassurance.

Another vision appears.

It’s my spirit animal.

My black wolf with grey fur and white glowing eyes.

‘Oh my God!!!! You are here!!! Wolf my angel!!! You are my angel!!!!

I begin to hear Wolf’s voice.

“Anissa you don’t have alot of time.

They are going to start destroying you physically. Making it look like you did it to yourself!!

They are going to use your own right hand to rip off your face and rip out your eyes.”

What???

What am I hearing????

My face will be disfigured???

Where are these ideas are coming from??

Beauty has always been this big theme for me.

Being beautiful is a huge part of society in Columbia. The women are raised to be beautiful and society benefits the most beautiful.

For some reason during this entire trip, people would come up out of the blue to say,

‘You’re so beautiful. You’re so beautiful. You’re beautiful.’

Before the ceremony. During the workshops.

Everyone would keep telling me “You’re so beautiful”

It felt good for a while, then I was completely sick of it.

Now Wolf is saying if I keep fighting I’m going to lose my beauty?

I hesitated.

My entire life I’ve always had this question…

What kind of person am I?

Am I the person who fights, runs, or freezes?

I always thought I was the person who freezes.

I was too scared to be the fighter. I was very proper.

I was taught to be very calm. Very diplomatic. Be the good girl.

Don’t be aggressive. No one likes an aggressive woman.

Yet when I thought of my child. I thought of my true love. I thought of Sebastian.

I knew I must see them again. I must fight for them. I must live to see them again.

Suddenly, I didn’t care what happened anymore.

An unstoppable force of nature began to build within me.

I reverse my hesitation.

If I am going to fight… then I am going to get fierce about it…and it’s going to get gross

I cry out:

Take my beauty!!! I don't need the face!!!! I don't need the eyes!!!!!! I don’t need the body!!! RIP IT ALL OFF AND MERGE MY SOUL WITH THE SPIRIT OF THE WOLF!!!!!!!!! I AM A FIGHTER!!! I will navigate in the darkness with the intuition of my spirit animal!!! I AM AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF NATURE !!!!

The Wolf howls to the moon, runs towards me locking me in the eyes, and dives into my soul.

Filling me with love, filling me with light, filling me with more power.

I feel my nose. It’s rough and big. I can smell everything.

And it becomes clear.

If I lose my face, if I lose my sight, if I lose my beauty… THEN SO BE IT!!!! I am fierce!! I am unstoppable!! I have teeth!!!! And I have claws!!!!! I have animal tools that serve me!!! I can fight!!!

My wild side awoke with a thunderous roar.

I began howling like a wolf. Howling over and over again.

Crying out to the moon. Crying out to the stars. Crying out for the power to escape.

An injection of energy fires within me as if the universe heard my cries.

I begin to see a perspective about myself that I didn’t have before.

About how much I would actually fight if I had to.

And how fearless I would be if I had to.

All the beliefs that kept holding me back as this “good girl” evaporated into thin air.

The strength of the Wolf enters my body, and I get this new breath of air to begin to fight even harder.

Fighting, ripping, tearing, scratching, clawing, screaming.

I feel like I’m doing it.

Maybe I can find a way to escape?

I can feel the scratches forming under my eyes as my right-hand attacks me.

I’m going to lose my eyes.

I cry out to the Wolf.

‘Oh my God Wolf! If somehow I escape from this. And my eyes are ripped out and I go blind. I need you to guide me in the darkness. Because I will not be able to see!!’

I look up at the sky. And see the stars shine before me.

“Wolf!! We can do this. Map out the stars so we can go home!!!

My eyes move at great speed memorizing the stars in the night sky.

Downloading the patterns and the constellations.

A map begins to form in my mind.

I can do this. I have the instincts. I have the power.

I keep fighting with all my strength and soul. Battling through the pain. Battling to escape.

My biceps tear. My abs tear. My shoulders tear. Everything tears.

Struggling as hard as I can not let this be a horror scene in my life.

I am NOT that powerless girl that people can take advantage of anymore.

I am strong!! I am fierce!!! I am a fighter!!!

I can fight even harder!!! I can fight through the pain!!!

I am an unstoppable force of nature!!!

I unleash screams of bloody murder.

As the pain began getting worse and worse.

I can feel my own hands clawing at my face. Clawing at my eyes.

I can feel the evil in my right hand.

I open my mouth and bite down my finger. Clenching down to destroy my own hand. Ripping the skin off.

Suddenly I feel my hand pulled out of my mouth.

And a cloth is shoved into my mouth to replace it. I gag.

I can’t breathe.

I shake my head to try and get rid of the cloth when a hand presses against my mouth.

Holding the cloth down and covering my mouth and nose.

I’m gagging against the cloth in my mouth as 5 shamans pin me down! I can’t breathe!!!!

Oh my god. I am going to suffocate. I am going to die.

I need to calm down so I can hold my breath.

I go into a meditation.

Holding my breath as hard as I can.

They’re going to kill me!!! This is it. I am going to die!!!! My child is going to die!!!!

I must find a way to hold my breath as long as I can to survive!!!!

Time and air are running out.

I focus to relax and go into this place inside my mind.

Yet my breath is disappearing…

I start to see a light.

Something bright. Very bright. The brightest thing I’ve ever seen.

What is this?

What is this force?

What is this light?

What is this energy?

It’s endless…It’s eternal…it’s bigger than everything…

I don’t know what this is? God? The universe? The world? Intuition?

The light begins to merge inside me. Flooding down the top of my head into my heart.

The need for air disappears.

I feel at peace.

I feel this energy. It’s something bigger than myself. Bigger than everything.

I stare breathless as the light grows and grows.

Flooding within me to fight this evil.

I shake my head and feel the hand holding my face disappear. Taking the cloth with it.

My soul breaths and fills my body with fresh air.

Something awakens within me.

I begin to fight like I never fought before.

Tapping into this ultimate energy.

Becoming the unstoppable force of nature.

Every muscle in my body tears. Pulling apart, shredding into pieces.

Sending the levels of pain to their max.

Pain that sends me screaming beyond anything I’ve experienced.

Giving me even more power unleashing maximum effort to move.

I feel like I’m winning this thing.

I have this Light, Sebastian, and the child of my true love inside me.

Everyone is here.

I’m going to beat this.

For the next 30 minutes, I fight with every essence of my soul.

Fighting and screaming for everyone.

Until my body stops responding.

And sorrow hits me like a truck.

I’m not going to make it.

I’m going to die.

I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t see the light.

Blackness covers me.

Everything goes dark.

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